Fabulously Fantastic

Stretch your movie budget for this torching hot heavyweight of a blockbuster before it disappears! That pretty much sums up the special powers that the ang moh F4 possess…
Mr Fantastic (Ioan Gruffudd) : if only condoms were made of his body, then they would never break. He stretches and coils like a boa constrictor and still snaps back in good shape. Wonder if he could stretch his love-tube? Would it be as limp?
The Invisible Woman (Jessica Alba) : now you see her, then you don’t. But you definitely don’t want those solid killer bosoms to disappear. Her peek-a-boo boobs would’ve floored villians anytime. (Of course unless they’re not turned on by smooth, ample cleavage)
The Thing (Michael Chiklis) : he’s The Incredible Hulk with a bad tan. Hard like a boulder on the outside, soft like bambi on the inside. He’s also got some of the worst lines.
The Human Torch (Chris Evans) : his body itself will set the screen on fire without torching up. This man-child character has a body to die for and the movie-makers turned into meat-mongers… to the delight of slurping females (and I think I heard some males secretly gasping).

This movie is a no-brainer entertainer… leaps better than most unentertaining brainless money s*ckers. The effects were great and the storytelling crisp, so there wasn’t a moment for paint to dry. Then only grouse I have about it was that the final showdown between F4 and Dr Doom (the villian, Julian McMahon of Nip/Tuck fame) was too short. It ended so abruptly, I was still at the edge of my seat waiting for an explosion of sorts. The only explosion I got was when the theatre’s house lights came on. It’s like dumping ice on a hard on.

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