For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. — 2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV)
I needed this at 3:03 am. It was another night of battling sleeplessness where fear grips my heart and mind about the future… growing old, being single, ending up lonely, and not earning enough to retire.
I’d taken a herbal sleeping aid and Xanax. Still my mind remained active, made worse by the frustration of my inability to rest.
Drowning in bouts of extreme anxiety and having no where to turn to, an idea occured in me to turn on a Bible app in my phone. It was a “last resort” kinda decision to find comfort since I’m practically on the brink of atheism.
I’ve downloaded the app the day I got my Samsung S3 but hardly used it. On the rare occasions that I did turn it on, the app shows a menu selection, never a page showing a particular Bible verse. I have no idea why this verse was the first thing that appeared when I activated it tonight.
For the first time, in a long time, I felt God was talking to me. That verse from Timothy hit all the right spots. Seeing these words brought on an instant ’aha’ moment and I felt a grip loosening within me.
I slept very well after that. Perhaps the medicines were finally taking effect. But I felt that no pills can calm the mind like the peace that comes through the sanctity of God.