I Lost A Day

Where did the time go? I remembered falling asleep on 29th Aug and when I awoke, it was 31st Aug. What happened to the 30th? How many did I swallow? I have no recollection of the 30th at all.

Alcohol made it easier, a sort of numb courage; delirious senses. Making a dent of consciousness. Low has found a new low. Depression just got more depressed. Sinking. Entombed. Flesh hooked. Plastic bag tied over head. Trapped. Limbs bounded. Darkness. Enclosed space. Stale air. Terrible loneliness. No one to hear you. No one knows. All alone. All alone.

I thought I saw a spark that night. A yellow flicker. Who do we be strong for? For ourselves? Or the people around us? Does it matter?

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11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. kykydiary
    Sep 01, 2006 @ 20:36:12

    “Who do we be strong for?”
    For ourselves. Look within to seek what you are searching for.
    Take care bro.

    Reply

  2. nathanpogi
    Sep 02, 2006 @ 04:36:27

    OMG! scary. you missed one day darren. kykdiary is right…everything we do if for ourselves. Don’t forget to love yourself. :o) keep safe always!

    Reply

  3. street_jr
    Sep 02, 2006 @ 04:49:50

    hugs hugs.

    Reply

  4. g_pax
    Sep 02, 2006 @ 14:42:35

    i have zero idea what you are going through but i went through a very difficult time in 2005. believe me, you will eventually cruise through this part of your life. take it from someone who can watch a comedy and still weep in-front of his friends, pathetic but i survived. you will too.

    Reply

    • celebratelah
      Sep 03, 2006 @ 05:55:46

      time will wash clean of anything as long as we allow the dirty laundry to be put in. no point in holding on because everything shall pass so long as we let it go. thanks for telling me about your difficult time in 2005. i shall fight my demons like you faced yours :o)

      Reply

  5. Anonymous
    Sep 04, 2006 @ 14:36:56

    darren bro, it’s clear that you are very clear about what it takes to get past this crisis. and you are absolutely right in saying that in order to allow anything to wash clean, we’ll have to first put the laundry into the wash. and unfortunately, no one can really do that except ourselves… know you know that already.
    so here’s hoping that you’ll find the strength to do that…
    but if you ever need help sorting out some of the colours, telling them apart, don’t forget that we are just a call away.
    take care dear, don’t ever lose another day, life’s short as it is. we need all the days we can get our hands on to make the most of it.

    Reply

  6. celebratelah
    Sep 04, 2006 @ 19:31:00

    thanks bro… :o) sometimes we go up, sometimes we feel down. great to know that you’ll be there for me :o) don’t worry… that lost day had found me more meaning than if i held on to it.
    that’s for the encouragement… it meant much to me. hugs :o)

    Reply

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