Be NOT possessed

the possessed poster

Truly I tell you, The Possessed is a cinematic miracle! In this day and age of audience sophistication, this Thai horror movie still has the guts to show its face on our big screen. Bravo! I’ve long forgotten the distaste of watching a movie so bad, I wanted to walk out half-way; so I must really thank The Possessed for rekindling this feeling in me. My tolerance for very, extremely, tremendously, enormously, awfully, exceptionally, exceedingly, and really bad movies must’ve increased a thousand-fold.

This almost 2 hours suicide is so horrible, even my toenails want to cry. I don’t know what possessed me to watch this show, but whatever it is, let the grudge end with me. You would find more amusement in re-runs of PM Lee’s National Day 2006 Rally (remember mee-siam mai hum) than trying to find anything you like about this Thai voodoo flop. With its hum-sup camerawork more interested to show gyrating female physiques, The Possessed would be more at home in Yangtze cinemas. (For those not inducted, god bless you that you’re not, Yangtze is the place to go for sleaze movies in Singapore. Most of its patronage, I heard, are horny old men who can’t afford to rent a prostitute. And if you stepped on something slippery between the cinema seats, it’s not saliva. Lest you worry, it’s not germ-carrying mucus either.)

The story tells of an 18-year-old village girl, Dau, who was misled into becoming a Go-Go girl in Bangkok to earn money to treat her ailing grandmother. Dau is the descendant from a tribe of rural witches. So when little witch gets pissed in big city, she casts spells to get even with her nemesis (one of them being the Go-Go bar owner who had the pleasure of stripping her naked and taking her virginity. And the farang actor who had the privilege of on-screen intimacy with the young actress looked like Paul Spurrier, the movie’s writer-director himself! So is this movie made for the audience, or for his private excuse to cavort pretty teen girls legitimately?) Unfortunately, she violated some rules governing witchery and her spells backfires, thus causing her possession by a bloodthirsty phii (‘ghost’ in the Thai language).

It has a decipherable plot, but with one major flaw. Half-way through the movie, it introduces a lesbian theme. Dau has a love affair with her lesbian roommate and Go-Go Bar colleague, Pookie. It’s like watching a drowning man thrashing and kicking to keep his head above the water. Including lesbianism in this movie looked more like a desperate attempt to keep the movie interesting because the script is so starved of ideas.

Actually, watching The Possessed was rather melancholic for me. It reminded me of those days when my classmates and I were trying to put together a film for our Introduction to Television module in Mass Communication. I can vividly picture all those blunders and techniques that went behind the scenes with each shot in this worst than amateur production : the discontinuity in scenes, limiting the number of camera angles to hide the fact that we don’t have a convincing set, lighting errors, and repeating one CGI sequence as often as possible because that’s the only special effect we spent effort creating. And the music was all wrong! This box-office curse looked plagiarized from beginning to end. It reeked of the cheesy art direction from sleazeball Hong Kong director, Wang Jin, in the early 80s.

Perhaps this movie really has magic. It seemed to cast a spell to convince its producers, importers and marketers that it has commercial value. Please, I would rather donate S$9.50 to NKF and half-suspect that it’ll support a golden tap than pay for this astronomical crap. This movie is really so bad, you must be mad to catch it. Just consider that everything in the movie you had seen before, but watered down to a 2 cents budget. It’s so cheap, the word ‘free’ would sound excessively extravagant to describe it.

For whatever that may inhabit you, not even boredom, DON’T WATCH THIS SHOW!! The Possessed is what happens when an inexperienced film wizard (Paul Spurrier) tries to cast a cinematic spell, and it backfires.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. bookofsam
    Sep 30, 2006 @ 07:40:18

    hahahah hate the movie
    love your review!

    Reply

    • celebratelah
      Sep 30, 2006 @ 13:58:32

      haha… yeah, i was still in shock when the movie ended. i hadn’t come to terms that i had been conned of $9.50! i think i need to seek therapy. hopefully ‘stay alive’ would be the redeeming horror movie i need. have a great weekend :o)

      Reply

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