How to grow a bigger heart?

Sometimes, I have such a narrow view of human nature. It is small because I don’t have the irises to contemplate the vastness of generosity. And the apparatus that pulls focus for my mind’s eye is none other than my heart. I thought I had one that contained the world… ok, maybe just the size of Russia (it being the biggest country in the world)… But really, I have a heart the size of the pigeon’s. And yesterday, it actually belonged to a mosquito.

We all don’t want to be taken advantage of. I mean, it is one thing to offer convenience to others or bend to their will in mindful submission, but it’s another to be taken for a ride. It is an act of generous consideration for another’s pedicament when you know that person won’t take you for granted, but with someone new and unfamiliar, how do we draw a line? The big-hearted way would be to give, nonetheless. The mosquito way would be to give, grudingly. Perhaps I’ve had my share of misers, and having been a free-loader sometimes, my ‘losers’ radar is especially sensitive to potential suckers who drain your time, energy and/or money.

For long-standing friends, that’s okay. We’re still draining each other because we get replenished; and over time, it adds more than it takes. But for unchartered personalities, the map-makers could only plot the cordinates from afar… until the land comes closer and closer… and they realize it’s Singapore, or Malaysia.

But last night, I’m revealed my small-heartedness. I always tell friends to "grow a bigger heart" to contain the petty misgivings of others and forgive more than we count our wounds. It is okay to "eat a little loss" for we know not what a little light in the darkness will show for the treasures it holds.

And last night, my candle was re-lit. The circumference of its light grew a little wider. If generosity is to be found at all, it begins with me. There is no space for the poverty of spirits, and that of mind… And most importantly, my heart shall not be starved.


10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. into_the_wild
    Apr 25, 2007 @ 23:55:30

    Interesting thing about a bigger heart is that, it is not really the size of the heart that matters, but the depth.


    • celebratelah
      Apr 29, 2007 @ 17:03:25

      well, size is depth measured horizontally :o) to encompass strangers or people i hardly know, it’s the breadth that counts… for people i know better or love, it’s the depth that matters. and i’m talking about people i hardly know here :o) hopefully i will grow a heart that both wide and deep… hahaha


  2. nathanpogi
    Apr 26, 2007 @ 01:11:41

    this is a genuine entry from a person with a bigger heart. I missed you in SG. i was there this April. Maybe next time is a good time to catch up. Keep safe always Darren. :o)


  3. yutaka2k
    Apr 26, 2007 @ 15:47:05

    Talk so much chim stuff hor.. what actually happened? *gossipy face*


    • celebratelah
      Apr 29, 2007 @ 17:07:13

      Re: Hey…
      chim meh? hee hee… we catch up soon over a meal or drinks and i tell u lor :o) (and u don’t have to add the *gossipy face* description at the back… i know how ur face perpetually look like. hahaha…)


  4. runecircle
    Apr 28, 2007 @ 20:45:01

    i refrained from commenting when i first read your entry, coz i don’t even know what to say. 😦
    i’m back to post something more positive: it was very nice to finally meet you in person via isaac at play earlier 🙂 be well


    • celebratelah
      Apr 29, 2007 @ 17:10:23

      oh… didn’t realise it was you!! plus, by then i was already half-way between Pan’s Labyrinth and Narnia’s closet… haha… must talk more with u the next time :o)


  5. wordsofweetzdom
    Apr 29, 2007 @ 15:04:40

    smile dude.


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