Bad Horror Films Fight Back With Retribution

Retribution poster For all the bad things I’ve said about awful scary movies, I’m finally getting retributed in the form of one of the most horribly horrible horror movie, Retribution. The poster touted, “From the producer of The Ring and Ju-On” and I was immediately drawn… like a moth to a flame… I was drawn into my early scare-genre grave. All hopes to resuscitate my interest in J-horror movies would now be dead.

This reel of bile is so unentertanining, I still get amnesia when I try to recall what I did between 2.55pm to 4.40pm yesterday afternoon (Sunday, 29 Apr). I recall a red dress, a pretty girl, an old man that is the most unbelieveable detective, earthquakes, unnecessary high-pitched screams, no scary scenes, and a confusing plot about the present that’s stuck in the past. This is really bad film karma.

[staring into space for a long time… ] … … …I’m thinking very hard what to write about this movie… still thinking… thinking… …I give up! Retribution is really crap. The pace of the show is so tediously slow. It gave so much screen time for the actors to complete their tasks (eg. watching one of the actress come down 3 storeys of stairs and walk about 100m off frame) and the unnecessary details just dragged the audience slowly through a tunnel of shard glass without adding to the story. Well, you won’t realize how unnecessary they are until you retrospect about the movie, that’s if you remember anything about it at all. And the supposedly eerie scenes were so funny. Especially when the pretty ghost in red confronted the old detective; it’s like how children will assume their hands and fingers when they play ghost. Gosh… I haven’t seen a horror movie lazier than this one in presenting its core subject.

I hope this movie gets the retribution it deserves. That is, doing really badly at the box office, gets nothing but terrible reviews, all the reels of this film around the world get spontaneous combustion, and all VCD or DVD release of it will be shipwrecked. And any attempts to air-freight it will be hijacked by monkeys. Yes, it is a ridiculous proposition. Because this movie is ridiculous. And only primates can appreciate with their half-developed intelligence.

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8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. runecircle
    Apr 29, 2007 @ 18:40:48

    lol that bad huh. there should be a law that only allows people who have seen ghosts to write ghost flicks. it would cut out so much crap

    Reply

  2. blu_tack
    Apr 30, 2007 @ 00:58:18

    thanks for the review….
    will give it a miss….but i want more horror movies le….

    Reply

  3. jepungia
    Apr 30, 2007 @ 03:00:59

    is it worse than siren!?!? I hated that one!

    Reply

    • celebratelah
      May 04, 2007 @ 08:57:52

      it’s much worse! at least siren had some storyline that when it is revealed, u can tell it is crappy… with retribution, u don’t even know what hit u and there’re no scary scenes…

      Reply

  4. wordsofweetzdom
    Apr 30, 2007 @ 09:15:56

    hahah.. i can’t help laughing as i read your reviews…
    🙂

    Reply

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