See you soon…

See ya, Chris!

It was half past midnight. I went out of my room to take a leak. And something familiar was missing (no, it’s not my dick that’s disappeared). A familiar sight that used to greet my nightly toilet visits in the wee hours (no pun intended) was gone. There wasn’t that outline of fluorescent light emanating from that closed door. The floor outside his room didn’t have that cold air-conditioned breeze when I walked past. Suddenly, I felt a little lost… in my own home.

It took Hong Kong to let me truly see Chris. I needed the distance to realize how close he is to my heart. Chris, my prodigal tenant, had gotten a job in Hong Kong, and he left just hours ago. Chris had stayed with my family for more than a year before moving in with his sister. We rented out his room to his friend, Shirlaine; and when she moved in with her boyfriend, Chris moved back in. My family couldn’t be happier (but I think Joy was indifferent).

As I watered my sanitary bowl, in the dark, tears welled up. At first, I didn’t know what I was sad about. In the short 3 weeks that led up to Chris’ departure, I knew I would miss him, but I didn’t quite know why. Even though we were friends before he moved in and we’re just a few steps from each other’s room, we never really hung out or were the best of buddies. Instead of talking, we msn-ed each other. And he’s just a door away.

We lead the same lifestyle, but not exactly common interests. So I guess our friendship lacked the anchor of shared activities. But I had never felt uncomfortable with Chris like how some of us would feel around people we know, yet sensing a vacuum in their presence. I can talk about almost anything with Chris. We do have some heart-to-heart moments, sometimes in the living room, but mostly in the kitchen when I’m fixing myself a drink and he takes his puffs. I guess that will be one of the moments I will miss with him.

The night when he broke the news that he had been successful in the interview and will be taking on the post, I teared. It was times like those that I’m frustrated with God for installing me with such faulty taps. It was good news and Chris well-deserved it. But as I spewed out logic about what a good opportunity that was, I reached out at the same time for tissue.

So mid-stream in my urinate and tears still yet to dry, I realized that what I will miss of Chris is his generosity of heart. His sensitivity in spirit. His quick words. His observant nature. His resourcefulness, friendliness, compassion, and his care and concern for my parents. He knew my family and never once minded the disposition.

It was also through Chris’ tears that I learnt how much I was embraced by him. That time when he visited me up north and the eve of his departure. We hugged, and we cried. My eyes are reddening again thinking about it (God, fix the tubes already!). I didn’t know how much I mattered to him during his stay here, but that hug and those tears, and the very heart-felt words he left on the red packet… I can only return in tears what’s written in tears.

I chide myself now for not doing more for him, to have known his heart sooner and not at the last minute. I refrained from calling him today before he boarded his flight at 7:00pm… because I don’t want to test my faulty plumbing, I don’t want to remind myself that I will miss him, but mostly because I didn’t want to say good-bye… I wanted to say, “See you again soon.” :o)

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10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. roy_az
    Apr 22, 2008 @ 04:55:03

    It’s okie Darren…Time will heal…If crying make U feel better, by all mean do it…Anyway, the world seems small, anytime U miss him, can fly there and say hello…
    Stay cheerful oie…;)

    Reply

    • celebratelah
      Apr 22, 2008 @ 06:08:18

      yeah… the world is a smaller place now with msn, skype, etc :o) not that affected to be crying all the time la… just the initial missing of a good fren i guess. thanks for the consolation :o)

      Reply

    • celebratelah
      Apr 22, 2008 @ 06:08:18

      yeah… the world is a smaller place now with msn, skype, etc :o) not that affected to be crying all the time la… just the initial missing of a good fren i guess. thanks for the consolation :o)

      Reply

  2. roy_az
    Apr 22, 2008 @ 04:55:03

    It’s okie Darren…Time will heal…If crying make U feel better, by all mean do it…Anyway, the world seems small, anytime U miss him, can fly there and say hello…
    Stay cheerful oie…;)

    Reply

  3. xxpartyguyxx
    Apr 23, 2008 @ 07:25:12

    hihi. I just wanna inform you that I’ve added you. I find your blog interesting and relevant but it will take quite a while to read the, urm, ultra small font words – but I will! From an overview I see hunky and/or big arms writer, colourful pictures/layout and interesting topics. =D

    Reply

    • celebratelah
      Apr 23, 2008 @ 08:36:39

      hey… thanks for visiting my blog and i’ve added u too :o) u can go to ‘view’ at your browser menu and increase the font size so that it’s easier to read. maybe it’s due to ur LJ settings. I’ve actually included a code to increase the font size by +1… now i know it doesn’t work on all browser even with that coded in… hmm…
      and i think u look great with ur jawline beard la :o)

      Reply

    • celebratelah
      Apr 23, 2008 @ 08:36:39

      hey… thanks for visiting my blog and i’ve added u too :o) u can go to ‘view’ at your browser menu and increase the font size so that it’s easier to read. maybe it’s due to ur LJ settings. I’ve actually included a code to increase the font size by +1… now i know it doesn’t work on all browser even with that coded in… hmm…
      and i think u look great with ur jawline beard la :o)

      Reply

  4. xxpartyguyxx
    Apr 23, 2008 @ 07:25:12

    hihi. I just wanna inform you that I’ve added you. I find your blog interesting and relevant but it will take quite a while to read the, urm, ultra small font words – but I will! From an overview I see hunky and/or big arms writer, colourful pictures/layout and interesting topics. =D

    Reply

  5. finewood1978
    May 02, 2008 @ 05:10:38

    See you soon…
    你有一颗纤细的心,感受人与人之间空气的温度。
    生离,除却无奈,就是百般滋味吧?
    Marco from F

    Reply

  6. finewood1978
    May 02, 2008 @ 05:10:38

    See you soon…
    你有一颗纤细的心,感受人与人之间空气的温度。
    生离,除却无奈,就是百般滋味吧?
    Marco from F

    Reply

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