Tease Whiners and Ego Wankers

For a while now, I’ve observed some very disturbing social behaviour amongst people I know. This post will probably piss some of them off but my intention is really not to infuriate. Rather, it’s an out-loud contemplation of what I call ‘tease whiners’ and ‘ego wankers’. They are the group who take themselves too seriously. Hopefully this post may act as a mirror that could help them reflect upon the effect of their actions on others. I have been ‘suffering’ them, so now I’m breaking my silence.

Alien even to ourselves, how can we expect others to love the monster in us?

So who are they?

Tease Whiners – Traditionally, whiners are people who complain about everything. But here’s a new offspring… The tease whiners. They are people who keep you guessing what they are whining about.

Here’s how a tease whiner works… He/she whines that nobody cares (be it through words or by action) but when you show concern and ask what happened, they refuse to tell you their problem. Duh? They said nobody bothers and when someone does, they clam up. If you have no intention to share what went wrong, then don’t hint that something is not right. Such a tease…

Then when he/she feels dejected and whine again but this time round, you gave up on asking or show concern because you know you won’t get anywhere, he/she gets the perfect excuse to whine yet again that nobody cares. The cycle feeds itself.

Ego Wankers – These are people who use others as devices to masturbate their ego. Here’s an example… My friend looks very down so I asked him what’s the problem. He briefly mentioned it’s due to a break-up and then launches into a monolgue about what a great lover he is and all the sacrifices he has made for his ex.

The self-glorification borders on a plea for sympathy of the injustice he suffered and praises for his virtues as a human being. It’s as if he’s the resurrected Christ. Are you telling me about your problem or are you using me as an aid to feel good about yourself? Perhaps his need for constant self-flattery is the very reason his ex bidded adieu. Stop basking in the shadow of your deluded moral superiority and see that others are being worn out by your ego’s perpetual need to cum.

Since I’m on a row here in questioning my social virility as a result of being neutured by such social misadventures, I would like to introduce another group… the You-Must-Remember-Me’s. Usually limited to briefly founded acquaintances whom you’ve met once a long time ago and online profilers whom you have exchanged a few emails but never met, the YMRMs get insulted if you forget who they are.

I have no problems if people don’t remember me. It just means that I haven’t given them something to remember me with. Likewise, for those who get miffed by my absence of recall, all i have to say is that my bad memory is legendary, and this question… “What have you given me to remember?” Besides, I’m a nobody. Why get so worked up in being forgotten by someone who doesn’t matter? No need to think so highly of yourself that people must recognise you. Don’t hurt yourself trying to be remembered.

Then there’s the group who thinks they know it all and are qualified to masquerade perceived self-righteousness as advise to others. They bank on the unarguable premise of direct experience and use those anedoctal episodes as basis for generalisation and form theories about life. This blog entry has been one long example of someone like that.

Muahahahaha… I’m that gey kiang (pretend smart) guy. If I’ve offended anyone with my observations here, please know that it wasn’t intentional. My percept of life is not yours. And vice versa. But it is a call to be mindful of our social expectations. In this age of Facebook, Friendster (remember that one?), Twitter, MySpace, and a whole lot of social sites, it’s easy for our self-worth to fall prey to the number of Likes, comments, responses, etc recevied from friends, acquaintances and strangers.

But ultimately, we’re our own consistent friend. We can only try to radiate our potential and others will be attracted to the light. For when we shine, we let other people know it’s okay to be themselves and give them permission to shine too. And of course, not every one is going to behave the way we expect them to. That’s what makes the social tapestry interesting and colourful. Plus it gives us the fun of classifying the people we know as whiners, wankers, ego-maniacs, or those who we know will love the monster in us for life.

Don’t expect. Just accept.

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