If Not God, Then Ghosts

I am going through the arduous task of transferring files from my old laptop to my new computer just now and was sifting through my folders for duplicate low res photos when I came across some of my earlier experiments with Photoshop. The photos were used as profile pics in my Friendster page. Anyone still remember that ancestor of social media? Because I’m reminded by the photos, I just tried logging in to my Friendster account. That social platform is officially dead. Now it’s some online gaming portal.

Anyway, why did I use the ghouls-grafted pics for my profile? Well, I love horror movies, the beach, parties, going places, making new friends, caps, hats, nature, and showing my nips (kidding!) so I thought I’d merge those facts together. I’m a huge fan of the paranormal, the supernatural, the metaphysical, still am, and such phenomena hold my interest like a kitten with a ball of yarn.

For some time, I wondered about my fascination with such taboo stuff. Then it occurred to me… maybe they are a part of my exorcism ritual on atheism. My faith suffers from schizophrenia. One moment I think I see signs and will go all “Praise God here, thank you Jesus there”, and then the next, I’m indifferent to whether He exists or not.

The faith seeing signs is like a schizoprenic hearing voices in his head. Then when the psycho attack passes, all is returned to normalcy. No signs. No voices. Just reality.

So perhaps in a perverse way, ghosts are my link to God instead of angels. If evil spirits are real, then God must be real for we cannot belief in the dark without accepting light because without light, we won’t know what darkness is. If we’ve always been sick, we won’t know what health feels like. Hence, for us to know we are sick, we must have experienced health.

I’ve never seen a ghost or had any otherworldly encounters. Not that I want to meet them, this month being the Hungry Ghost Festival and all… *choi! ho ger leng, chow ger um leng!* But I think my fascination with the subject could be the medicine to keep me believing in a higher power, reverse psychology at work. If not God, then ghosts will do.

I wonder if any of you had those encounters? Have you seen them dirty things?

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