I forgive God. It’s an audacious and insolent statement, but that’s actually a declaration of faith. I have made peace with my struggle to believe there’s a God.
I had this revelation while watching Amish Grace, a television movie based on the real-life school killing of 10 Amish schoolgirls in 2006, Pennsylvania, USA.
If like me, you’ve ever teared your heart out and cried the tears dry at God’s impotence to cure an illness, return a love one or make things right, perhaps after watching the movie, you’ll understand why I needed to forgive God. When I let go of my grudge against God, I felt the return of love to my heart.
When I accepted that nothing in this world, be it my parents, dogs, health, possessions, etc. belonged to me but came from God, I was able to let them go. The Lord has given me, it is okay if when the Lord takes back. It will hurt, of yes it will when the time comes, but I will no longer be bitter. I think. I’m not sure because the feeling that came with this revelation is very new to me. But I’m sure I’ll get better at dissolving bitterness because it feels right with my spirit.
I’m glad I stumbled onto this movie on Youtube. It appeared on the right menu column of something else I was watching and I had no idea why I clicked it. I’ve not heard about this show and the title didn’t appeal to me because it doesn’t contain one or all of the following – horror, ghosts, aliens, monsters.
I think the movie has got some pretty good lessons about life for Christians and non-Christians. Here are some great quotes from the show that I would remind myself over and over…
“Hate is a very big, very hungry thing… with lots of sharp teeth. It will eat up your whole heart, and leave no room left for love. We are lucky that God understands this. He is the one that will hand out the punishments so that we don’t have to carry this hate around in our heart if we don’t want to. If we are willing to forgive.”
“It is not easy to forgive. The Lord does not ask us to walk an easy path… But this I know – faith when everything is as you want it to be is not true faith. It is only when our lives are falling apart that we have the chance to make our faith real.”
“Forgiveness comes from an open heart and it comes without condition, or it does not come at all.”
“[We forgive] because it’s the right thing to do, God commands it. We must trust God’s wisdom. If we forgive, God promises that peace will follow.”