Day 273 : Amish Grace

I forgive God. It’s an audacious and insolent statement, but that’s actually a declaration of faith. I have made peace with my struggle to believe there’s a God.

I had this revelation while watching Amish Grace, a television movie based on the real-life school killing of 10 Amish schoolgirls in 2006, Pennsylvania, USA.

If like me, you’ve ever teared your heart out and cried the tears dry at God’s impotence to cure an illness, return a love one or make things right, perhaps after watching the movie, you’ll understand why I needed to forgive God. When I let go of my grudge against God, I felt the return of love to my heart.

When I accepted that nothing in this world, be it my parents, dogs, health, possessions, etc. belonged to me but came from God, I was able to let them go. The Lord has given me, it is okay if when the Lord takes back. It will hurt, of yes it will when the time comes, but I will no longer be bitter. I think. I’m not sure because the feeling that came with this revelation is very new to me. But I’m sure I’ll get better at dissolving bitterness because it feels right with my spirit.

I’m glad I stumbled onto this movie on Youtube. It appeared on the right menu column of something else I was watching and I had no idea why I clicked it. I’ve not heard about this show and the title didn’t appeal to me because it doesn’t contain one or all of the following – horror, ghosts, aliens, monsters.

I think the movie has got some pretty good lessons about life for Christians and non-Christians. Here are some great quotes from the show that I would remind myself over and over…

“Hate is a very big, very hungry thing… with lots of sharp teeth. It will eat up your whole heart, and leave no room left for love. We are lucky that God understands this. He is the one that will hand out the punishments so that we don’t have to carry this hate around in our heart if we don’t want to. If we are willing to forgive.”

“It is not easy to forgive. The Lord does not ask us to walk an easy path… But this I know – faith when everything is as you want it to be is not true faith. It is only when our lives are falling apart that we have the chance to make our faith real.”

“Forgiveness comes from an open heart and it comes without condition, or it does not come at all.”

“[We forgive] because it’s the right thing to do, God commands it. We must trust God’s wisdom. If we forgive, God promises that peace will follow.”

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Scot
    Oct 03, 2012 @ 02:18:37

    There is and has always been evil in this world. And, there is suffering that is difficult to understand. But we, as individuals, have many choices to make: we can recognize the that the universe is beyond our control and be part of the solution to issues around us or we can be selfish and not use our talents to build a community beyond the walls of our life. “Letting Go” and listening is often the key that so many I know have said allowed them to find their path. It sounds like you are there, and it is difficult to hear in our busy, material world. We each have a unique set of talents to use.


  2. Annie Bananie
    Oct 03, 2012 @ 17:40:29

    Hi Darren, thanks for this post. It is interesting because “God gives and takes away” is exactly what my friend said to me yesterday when we were discussing life and its fragility and I guess…vulnerability might be a better word? Within the past month I’ve experienced two instances of deaths of friend(s) of friends of mine, one is a long-term struggle with disease, the other was a sudden accident. While these events are only indirectly related to me personally, they really made me reflect. Anyway…the point is not about life and death. I wanted to share with you some of my thoughts on forgiveness and “letting go”. I once thought that I have to be the one to “let go” of certain things, and I tried so hard to do it myself, but it gave me nothing but agony because I would end up hanging on even harder. Then I realized that forgiveness and letting go is a slow, gradual process. I left it up to God to work through my life and change my heart, and yes at times there was bitterness that seemed unendurable and spite that seemed so easily justified, but God never puts us through anything that we can’t endure 😉 In the end, when I’ve truly “let go”, it was so natural that I didn’t even realize it, and the feeling of peace was simply relieving and even unbelievable. I agree when you say “the feeling that came with this revelation is very new to me” and I think it is quite a refreshing feeling 😉 Okay I think I’ve written too much already and I hope you don’t mind my sudden urge to blab…maybe I will check out the movie later 😀 Cheers!


    • Darren Ng
      Oct 08, 2012 @ 00:38:32

      hey annie… thanks for sharing with me your journey to true forgiveness. life is indeed vulnerable and great that u’re now a master of ‘letting go’ 🙂 God is our strength to accomplish all things through love. hope u’ll enjoy the movie as much as i did.


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