Usually, I would give others the benefit of the doubt because I’m adamant that good is the prevailing nature of humanity.
But at times, I doubt that my giving them the benefit of the doubt is benefitting them at all.
By giving a benefit of doubt, we are essentially finding an excuse for a person’s
misdemeanor misbehaviour. My mum is excellent at this. To the point that I think she chose compassion as a way to relief herself from critical thinking. Accepting things at face value and explaining away a person’s flaws through “empathy” is digging your own grave. And the grave for the other person too.
If something is clearly not right or abnormal to the point that it is an inconvenience to yourself, stop finding excuses to rationalize and accept that person’s behavior. Life’s too short to be somebody else’s puppet or plaything.
When you feel that the other delights in your misery, it’s a clear sign that that person is mentally maladjusted, even to the brink of being a psychopath!
My mum, God bless her soul for always seeing the noble cause behind every dubious intention, is both blessed and cursed by being an easy prey of emotions. Personally, I think that by feeding what the other person don’t want to come to terms with about themselves is not helping them. Your concessions of the other’s personality / character further traps that person in his / her comfort zone.
So of late, I’d rather make an assumption than to invest in the benefit of doubt. People may have good intentions, but these intentions birth subconscious expectations that yearn fulfillment. Whether the other party is aware or willing to admit or not, there are no free lunches in this world. There’s a subtle difference to cross from the idiom of “benefit of the doubt” to being an idiot of a character cult.