Shoe Me the Way!


But really, I would prefer their warm feet next to mine.

Because some feet don’t wear shoes.

Or their prints too sublime.

Small soles can sometimes leave the biggest prints!

Day 340 : Oops I Dick It Again?

Saw quite a few of these dried pods lying around on a grassy patch en route to work. This one really looked like a used organic condom.

Seems like Mother Nature had a wild night out judging by the size of that thing! LOL.

Day 327 : Going Bananas

The face that will launch a thousand slips.

If durian is the king of fruits and mangosteen the queen, then banana has got to be the court jester.  It being an accessory to comedy notwithstanding (think banana peel slip jokes), the yellow fellow must have a pretty good sense of humour to live with itself looking like a dick.

But when it comes to being a nutritional powerhouse, the banana is no laughing matter. So I try to include it in my daily diet to get a good those of Vitamin B6 and potassium to starve off those criplling post-workout calf cramps.

The new face of 80s pop band Bananarama? Or the chick that will get those Bananas in Pyjamas waking up with a wet spot? Maybe Bert will divorce Ernie after seeing this?

Today’s set of photos kinda happened by accidental. I was peeling the skin from the top down but it split at one side, resulting in what looked like loose lips. It made me laugh so I took a photo and since it resembled a mouth, I added eyes with LINE Camera’s Stamp function (the app can be downloaded for both Android and IOS) and got the 2 different faces – one come-hither and the other eager-perky.

Here’s another of the same pic made into something of a quote-card…

Love this quote I found on the web. It took me 2 readings to get the clever play with words. Here’s another banana joke…
Q : What do you get when you put 2 banana skins side by side?
A : A pair of slippers!

Hope this post put a smile on your face 🙂

Day 274 : 中秋之12淫肖

冬眠未醒又一秋。虽然我没有庆祝中秋的习惯,但却来到了新加坡河畔的嘉年华凑凑热闹。沿河的花灯装饰一般以十二生肖为题材,都看了好几年了。

可是今年的生肖灯笼好像亮起了一筐淫荡风,蛮逗趣的。好,那就让我以有的眼光来欣赏吧!以下照片的提名有点 off-colour 和 R(A) 哦。。。

丰乳猪

Doggy Style Fook

Hard Rock Cock

摸桃猴

骚媚羊

甜具马

阴核蛇

白毛龙

Playboy 兔

吹箫虎

Horny Cow

阿瓜鼠

Day 256 : Act Virgin

When it comes to “acting virgin”, no language describes it better than a Hokkien phrase that suddenly popped into my head today.

Pronounced as “lao chee gay way”, a word-by-word translation goes something like this… lao (old) chee (vagina) gay (pretend / fake) way (narrow / tight).

The phrase is used as an insult to describe people who pretend to be morally upright and uptight when they are actually the village bicycle, everyone has taken it for a ride. Me no like lao chee gay way people.

Day 229 : A Bad Sign During Ghost Month

7th Month, Seventh Month, Ghost Month, Pedestrians Crossing Sign, Singapore

The sight of these tents mushrooming all over Singapore signals the arrival of the Lunar Seventh Month, a.k.a. Ghost Month and Hungry Ghost Festival. I used to like this period when I was growing up because the whole island seemed to come alive with flashy getais and noisy biddings at these tented outdoor dinners. It was kinda entertaining watching the open-air performances or just listening to a bid-announcer going off-key or loosing his voice from all that shouting.

This afternoon, as I was wandering Jalan Besar after lunch, I came across this tent that has been set up in anticipation of the month-long festival which starts tomorrow. The ‘Pedestrian Use Crossing’ sign immediately caught my eye. Its position in the middle of the bidding stage looked comical.

Was this a case of the best solution out of a no-space situation or the latest art-installation-advertisement by the Traffic Police? LOL.

Day 226 : Necessary Pain

Really dread Mondays and not looking forward to work lately. Not a good sign. But it’s a necessary ‘evil’ that just have to be tolerated for the next 20, 30 years?.

On a random note, why does the Peace Lily’s stamen look like a weapon and so unpeace-like? An affirmation that war is the necessary evil for peace? No pain, no gain. More slain, more less complain.

Day 134 : Meowlicious

It looked so adorable sitting there but when I tried to take a photo of it, the cat morphed into something from hell with a malicious scowl and menacing hiss. Such an easily purrturbed furball this is… So dangerously meowvolent!

Day 101 : Scare to Show Care

My reptilian adoration must have conspired with the universe somehow. I keep seeing lizards and geckos lately. First it was the Changeable Lizard suntanning on a fence a few days ago, then a gecko resting on a toilet window pane, now I come face-to-face with these ones sun-dried for traditional Chinese medicine.

Believed to be a cure for asthma, tuberculosis, coughs and other respiratory ailments, the orange-spotted species here seemed to be the Tokay Gecko, a mid-sized lizard sometimes kept as pets and popularly used in Asian folk medicine.

Is this a way of scaring your love ones with the ghastly medicine to show you care? Just like how scary photos are printed on cigarette boxes to scare smokers out of smoking?

Or how the government shows it cares for the health of Singaporeans by scaring us with high medical bills so much so that we are frightened into exercising and keeping fit? Hmm…

Day 059 : His pen is Good

My office has an endearing tradition. Every month, the whole company will pen in well wishes on birthday cards for colleagues celebrating their special day in that month. Today, a card got circulated to me to ink my greetings.

Kind of a busybody, I read what the others before me wrote and I came to the one written by my male Thai colleague. I burst out laughing. What was supposed to be “Good Luck” looked like “Good Cock“!!!

And the card was for a female colleague. Was there something about her only he knew? After all, Thailand is famous for ladyboys. I’ll never look at “luck” the same way again! ROFL! 😀

Day 055 : Polite Cursing

Let’s say someone or something pissed you off and you wanna curse. But you don’t wish to sound like a potty-mouth. Try this for some elegant slammin’…

What the firetruck. Fireturck you! Firetruck me. I am firetrucked. Don’t firetruck with me. We have been firetrucked. Firetruck off!

Great way to let off steam without needing the services of firemen. 🙂

Day 049 : Spell My Weekend

 The 3 covered letters spell what I’m doing this weekend. Look at your keyboard now. Can you tell what I’m occupied with?

Not that what I do during the weekend should matter to you lah. But if you’re looking at this photo, means you probably have nothing better to do on a Saturday night. Hahahaha… so have some fun, spell my weekend… 😀

P.S. : The letters don’t contain X, E, S or N, U, F.

情趣

前晚,我与爸妈到日式餐厅用餐,点了一个鲑鱼头 (也称三文鱼 salmon fish head)。母亲知道我近期老是头疼,脑袋发胀,就要我多吃鱼头肉,说能以形补形。

妈还没说完,后父马上来了一句,“那,我每次吃妳,不是很快就要变成一头猪?”

听了后父那一句,我差一点把口中的饭都喷了出来!我顿时很想捧腹大笑,却又被 “吃妳” 所撇指的爹娘卧中亲密行为弄得极为难堪。我想笑却笑不出来,脸又烧个尴尬红。那句话太厉害了。它的多层意思锁在我体内,造成内伤!哈哈哈

但母亲的反应也很厉害的。只见她眼角稍微颤搐了些,临危不乱,然后面不改色的继续讲她的鱼头补头疼的道理。她的 ‘若无其事神功’ 已练到成精的境界!

我什么话也没说,就坐在那儿看他们俩演口角戏。虽然他们有时候大吵大闹,但在这种挖苦对方的时刻,也显得夫妻情的甘蜜。爱就是这样,简简单单的对嘴也是一种幸福。

也只有挚爱的人才能经得起我们百般挖苦,也不当一回事。所以在这挖苦我的家人,也代表我爱他们。损你是因为爱你,这理由真好用!

Showin’ Singapore Some Lovin’

Hope you all had a good break during National Day and showed some love to our nation! While you all relax and enjoy the National Day Parade, I was soaked in sweat until my underwear was very wet having fun at the parade venue. Instead of hunting for trigger-worthy moments, some of us NDP appointed photographers turned the cameras on ourselves and created our intepretation of The Singapore Spirit!

喜事成双!All good things must come in doubles! Siow Har is getting happily stars-struck.

Bang bang yee-ha! My birthday wish for Singapore, "Gallop ahead of competitions and may adversities be far behind!"

Jumpin' Jasmine spreads her luuurrrrrvvve for Singapore!

Zookeeper trying to reign in an escaped gorilla?!

Oh, it's just King Kong Ken wishing Singapore to 一飞冲天!Once fly hit the sky!

An 'S' jump because 'S' is for Staci and Singapore! Stay Super, Singapore!

Here's Winson's wholesome take on living in Singapore. Yeah, it can be a pain in the ( ! ) sometimes, but we are lovin' it!

May all Singaporeans enjoy more quality breaks and have a sweet life! Can be new poster boy for Kit Kat or not huh?... Ooi! Don't puke!

Happy 46th Birthday Singapore!

Aren’t the shots fun? Finally we get to have a break from shooting the audience and show to get our own NDP 2011 memories recorded. Thanks for all the great times during the series of NDP shoots that are a test of endurance and photographic dexterity.

But with passion, we made it. Just as Singapore made it through all the odds! That’s The Singapore Spirit!

Thoughts Because of the Blog Awards

In less than 15 hours, the Singapore Blog Awards 2010 ceremony will be on! I’ve been thinking about what to wear for the whole week because sad to say, I don’t have an imaginative wardrobe. The theme is ‘Oscar glamourous’ and ‘Paparazzi-worthy’. That means it is either sharp suits or drag as Lady Gaga. I don’t have the moolah or the bola to do either.

Oscar glam?And adding weight to a drowning man, I saw some of what the bloggers are going in. The designer-sponsored clothes, the who’s who of make-up, the famous stylists… guess I’ll be paparazzi-worthy after all since I’ll be the only one in rags. Maybe I’ll inspire the next fashion trend – Darrags (Darren’s rags)!

But I really look forward to the event. I want to meet all the bloggers running for the awards to get tips on how to make my blog more attractive and to thank them for the inspiration some of their blogs have given me. I’ve always been writing my blog for an audience of one… me. It was a place for me to insure against forgetting some of the major moods and events in my life and a place of reference for some facts I want to remember.

Through the many blogs I’ve come across because of the awards, I realized it is okay to say what I really feel. In the capacity of a personal blog, this is an unsafe place to be who we are but we can’t be somebody else if we expect to be heard.

I’ve also come to observe that my blog is somewhat bi-polar. One post could be all fun and humour and the next is all emo and soul-searching. Like now. But I guess, this is my style. And I have to learn to grow comfortable with it. If I’ve learnt well from the blogs I’ve read, this is who I am. This is a window for what I’ve gone through and what I’m experiencing to soar.

Paparazzi worthy?It is beyond my wildest imagination that Celebrate Life! could make it as a Top 10 finalist and I’m really thankful for each and every vote that placed it in the top 3 voted blogs for the Best Lifestyle Blog category. I took part just for fun but my eyes are really opened to the possibilities that blogging presents.

The past couple of weeks had seen an unusually high number of posts from me. Many were postings I wanted to put up but couldn’t make the time previously, but as a result of running for the awards, I took extra efforts to put them up. Some of the blogs were completed at 4 or 5 am in the morning and I’m a zombie at work the next day. But it showed me how much I can actually push myself and I’m very glad that my backlog of posts has been cleared!

I hope that this blog has been more than just a guy ranting about his life and provided some information that you could use. Thank you all so very much for reading and for the comments and mails you’ve sent me. They are the fuel that keeps me going.

Even if I do not win at the awards, I’ve already gained many invaluable lessons through this journey and made some new friends along the way. Thank you for walking with me.

And later, I will be walking around the awards venue, Movida at St James Powerstation, in a suede jacket bought in Singapore (S$100), blue jeans bought in Bangkok (S$25), white singlet with silvery leopard preens from Thailand (S$6.00), brown shades from Malaysia (S$6.50), khaki duckbill cap from Hong Kong (S$7.00), and an assortment of chains to try and look cool.

Will I be fashion Frankenstein or will I successfully mimic budget couture debonair… watch this space for the outcome… :o)

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