Going Into Cocoon Stage

Woohoo! Made it as one of the six finalists for the Urban Homme Urban Icon Challenge ! Time to start a month of free skin and body treatments at The Cocoon, Urban Homme Singapore’s studio at Ngee Ann City. I’m feeling really excited but at the same time, super-duper anxious. I look forward to all the treatments but to share every step of how they will fix my problem areas is gonna blast open the floodgates to all my insecurities.

Videos and photos will be taken throughout the treatment processes by the organisers so there’s no hiding behind Photoshop-ed images I’ve been posting of myself on social media sites. My online acquaintances who are used to pics of me with smooth complexion, firm body and tight abs will be in for a rude shock!

Dreaming of Tofu Skin & Egg-Tray Abs

I have to admit I’ve been blessed with clear complexion and a body that never grew out of the youth department for most part of my ife. But middle age changes everything.

In addition, being an outdoorsy sun-lover in my younger days, my once peachy skin is turning into a prune… with dark circles, eye lugguages, uneven skin-tone, and age spots making my face a gameboard for join-the-dots. And that’s not the worst. My waistline is fast becoming the most protruded part of my body.

Well, by being selected as a finalists, the organisers are essentially saying, “Darren, we can see the obvious problems you have. And we can help.” There’s great comfort in that. But frankly, maybe because I’ve never tried these beauty treatments before, I have my doubts that they really work.

All those diamond facials, fat zappers, lasers and Intense Pulse Light (IPL) therapies are but mere marketing gimmicks to me. Just like the Slendertone belt I got to get rid of my lower belly fat. I’ve been using it for months, about 3 times a week… waist still not slender. Neither is my abs tone. And crunching till I get cramps in the gym didn’t force out any torso egg-trays either.

I’m putting in double the effort on my face and body, but not getting half the results. Everything is going downhill. And it’s not a nightmare. Because I can’t wake up from it.

The Ugly Truth

Being selected for the Urban Homme transformation couldn’t have come at a more opportune time. I shared 3 months ago (1 Jul 10) in my post, From Feather to Leather, that I want to gym harder, eat better and take care of my looks and physique. Today is 7 Oct 10. That’s 13 weeks later. What have I achieved? Well, here’re 2 photos of me taken in Bali 3 days ago…

4 Oct 2010. If I hold my breath to suck in my gut any longer, I'll turn bluer than my trunks. Will Urban Homme be able to carve something out from this mould of lard?

I hope I didn’t cause what you ate yesterday to be all over your computer keyboard now. Compared to a photo taken of me wearing the exact same trunks 2 years ago in the post, From Feather to Leather, there’s no doubt about the size of my mid-life crisis!

So how will the full range of therapies offered by Urban Homme fare? Can they give me chiselled abs and restore my sun-damaged, leathery skin to its peachy past? Does this frog still have a chance to transform into a prince? Or will my next kiss just turn me into a leather bag?